Posts Tagged ‘life review’

Secret #3 of a Successful retirement

Monday, April 22nd, 2013

Take Time To Get To Know Yourself

At 61, I decided I need a better understand of “Why am I the person that I am?”  It was not an effort to better myself or to settle any depression or haunting problems but instead it was an exploration that led me far into my memory.Tall_Grass_Cover_estore[1]

The Swedish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard noted, “Life can only be understood backwards.”

I had just retired and I had realized that in my life and career I had repeated my same victories and had as well repeated my same failings.  As hard as I tried I could not change, the pattern of my life seemed to have been predetermined.  I wanted to know how that pattern had been set and “Why I was who I was?”

Two other factors entered into my decision to write my memoir or what I call a Life Review.  First I didn’t know how much more time I had and I wanted to make the most of the rest of my life; that is I wanted to live it to the fullest and I wanted to concentrate on my strengths and avoid my weaknesses.  Second, I wanted to leave something behind.  I know more about

George Washington and Abe Lincoln then I know about either of my grandfathers and I didn’t want to die at my death.

I’ve been asked “Who would want to read about your life?”  I’ve learned not my children and not many of my relatives, its mostly been people that I don’t know.  My hope is the most interested will be my grand children and those that follow them.  I also hope that they can gain some courage from what I’ve done and strive to find their creative side.

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Why I wrote my memoir and life review

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

 

At 61, I decided I need a better understand of “Why am I the person that I am?”  It was not an effort to better myself or to settle any depression or haunting problems but instead it was an exploration that led me far into my memory.

The Swedish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard noted, “Life can only be understood backwards.” I had just retired and I had realized that in my life and career I had repeated my same victories and had as well repeated my same failings.  As hard as I tried I could not change, the pattern of my life seemed to have been predetermined.  I wanted to know how that pattern had been set and “Why I was who I was.”

Two other factors entered into my decision to write a Life Review.  First I didn’t know how much more time I had and I wanted to make

the most of the rest of my life; that is I wanted to live it to the fullest and I wanted to concentrate
on my strengths and avoid my weaknesses.  Second, I wanted to leave something behind.  I know more about George Washington and Abe Lincoln then I know about either of my grandfathers and I didn’t want to die at my death.

I’ll write more about the process, writing, interviewing relatives, editing and self publishing in future posts.  You can sign up to follow my posts through the RSS Feed on the right.

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Jane Fonda's Life Review

Friday, September 16th, 2011

Jane Fonda\’s Life Review

This is an excellent video explaining the importance of doing a live review.  Although I haven’t achieved perfection I am a better person as a result of writing my life review Tall Grass.

Jane Fonda, Oscar winner on her quest for perfection, battling

g bulimia and a strained relationship with her father.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqPNP60tpZQ

 

 

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My Life Review and What if?

Saturday, August 20th, 2011

I wrote Tall Grass for me, to gain a better understanding of who I am and why I am, for my family, most of whom don’t care to read it now but I suspect will read it when I’m gone and that’s OK, and for others in hopes that other people will write about their early life to better understand themselves.  I’ve found that most of the visitors to my blog are coming through Search and they are in some form using the keyword “Life Review”, so I feel that I have achieved all of my primary goals for Tall Grass.

The other day at lunch a close friend, who had read Tall Grass, asked me questions about my childhood and some of the things that he had read.  Many of the questions I couldn’t answer because they were things that I might have known at one time but apparently weren’t important to me at the time and now I don’t remember.  This caused me to  realize that who I am is a result of what happened to me in my early years but it’s also as a result of what I deemed to be important at the time, and I think that was controlled by my emotional state at the time.  So if my emotional state had been different the results would have been different.

I mention this because I am in the early stages of developing a new website, BestofUs.com, built around the phrase “It Takes the Best of Us to Raise a Child”.  It will be a closed circle social networking website built around the young children in our life’s, the children that we want to have an influence on even though they may live hundreds of miles from us, our grandchildren, or our nieces or nephews, or the children of close friends.  If as a close knit community, I call it a village, we can add some stability, some emotional strength achieved by knowing that they belong, maybe the children in our life’s can become the best that they can be.

I just wonder

how my brothers and my life’s would have turned out different if there had been a tight circle that could have supported us after our mother died.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress with BestofUs.

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Five Questions for Life Review

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

These are some good questions to ask yourself if you’re considering writing a Life Review.  I’ve also included my answers.

1.  What was the best thing that ever happened to you?  The worst?

The best thing was probably that Nita fell in love with me, without her control and questioning I can only imagine what would have happened to me.

The worst thing is easy, because of my insecure childhood I have always tested the people around me and it’s continually got me into trouble.

2.  What was the best period of your life? The worst?

Right now, I get to do what I want to do every day.  I try new things, I push myself and most important I enjoy myself.

The worst was when my mom died.

3.  If you were asked by a child about the most important thing you have learned in life, what would it be?

The most important  thing that I learned is that knowledge makes anything possible and persistence will make it happen.

4.  If you could change one decision in life, what would it

be?

I think I made a decision at anearly age that I could make it on my physical strengths and chose not to focus on my studies.  I really didn’t focus on learning until I was forced to in college.

5.  What do you need to finish your life? Can you do it from where you are right now?

To finish my life I need to stay healthy, once I loose my health I want to die a semi-violent death, and I want my last words to be ”Oh Shit”.

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Atlanta Writers Club

Saturday, January 29th, 2011

Today I am subjecting myself to a “Writers Critique” provided by the Atlanta Writers Club an organization started in 1914 for the purpose of promoting and assisting aspiring writers. The club has over 500 active members, holds monthly meetings forming a supportive network of aspiring writers, publishers and agents. I see writers arriving for their critique ranging in age from 18 to 70. There are six authors doing the critiques three in three different genre in fifteen minute sessions throughout the day.

I’ve submitted 20 pages of my second book, Grasshopper, for Jackie Cooper, a published Atlanta author, to review and offer suggestions in our fifteen minute session together. As is my habit I’ve arrived early for our 12:30 appointment partly because that’s who I am and partly because I want to absorb as much of this atmosphere as I can. My first impression is how wonderful it is that the Writers Club has taken a very solitary activity and turned it into a social and supportive community. I also recognize that there are a lot of people who share my ambition to share more of myself than is normal. I think this can be said of everyone

who pursues the arts at any level.

My time came and I related well to Jackie. His message stated with the advise Hook, Develop and Wrap, you are a story teller, “you hooked me but I wanted more development and a wrap.”

“But I was only allowed to give you 20 pages so all I was trying to do was hook you.”

“ Well you achieved that but I want to know more about your main character Kobie, I need to get more emotionally involved with him. You made me jump from Chapter 1 to Chapter 4 and I felt that I was jumping around.”

“I did that so that I could set the hook deeper and make you want for more.”

That’s how it went, but most important I left with the message, “You’ve got talent, you’re a story teller, find yourself a publisher and have a follow-up book because they’ll want a three to four book deal. You need the find the guy the believes in you and your work so don’t give up he’s out there.

I’m flying high.

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Why am I who I am?

Thursday, November 4th, 2010

Everything that happens to us, the good..the bad, is a part of us.
It doesn’t have

to define who we are.
We get to decide.

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How to do a Live Review

Saturday, October 30th, 2010

My Life Review was a result of a year of questions like:

Why was I forced into retirement?
Why did I cause this to happen?
Why do I make the same mistakes over and over?
Who am I and why am I the way I am?

With this last question I started to take responsibility for my past actions. Then I wated to know why I had the strengthsand weaknesses that formed my character.  I started to examine my early childhood and the events and people that had directed my life.

I started writing,  interviewing my aunts, uncles, brothers, and cousins to gain understanding and clarification of the bits and pieces that I could remember. With each bit of new information I remembered more and I understood more. I kept writing, as I told my story to myself I started to understand how my character was formed.  My story concluded at age fourteen, everything was in place for the rest of my life, for better or worse.

The process took me sixteen months, I put my manuscript away and did nothing for two years. I had a new awareness as well as a new level of peace, I knew who I was.  I could do little to change anything but I knew why and how I would react to my environment. I then recognized that I had another opportunity.

I know more about Abe Lincoln and George Washington then I know about my two grandfathers. So I searched and hired an editor and had “Tall Grass” edited and published, it’s available on Amazon.com and at www.grinkmeyer.com. I’m leaving something behind so my descendants will know who I was and possibly have a better understand of who they are.

In future posts I discuss the editing and publishing process.

If your interested leave comments and questions.

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Jane Fonda Reveals How to Do Your Own “Life Review”

Friday, October 29th, 2010

I didn’t call Tall Grass a “Life Review”, but that’s what it is. Here’s why Jane Fonda thinks it so important that you do a life review.

Life Review

It’s what has helped make her “third act” of life so fulfilling. Here, Jane explains how she conducted her own life review and how you can do it too.

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Writing Your Book

Wednesday, October 27th, 2010

I’ve started writing Grasshopper, a follow-up to Tall Grass.  Tall Grass was difficult for me to write because writing was new to me.  I’m finding Grasshopper easy and I think it’s because I know that it’s most important to just get my thoughts down.  I’ll be able to come back later and add to and take from my original manuscript.  Also I’ll be helped by my editor; Larry will help me with flow and organization as well as grammar and spelling. Everyone needs an editor, he or she makes your job easier.

I think you should write a book, write about yourself or something that you’re

interested in.  You need to leave something behind so that your descendents know who you were and better understand who they are.  Start writing today.

Check back I’ll continue to share my progress

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